Parenting is raising and nurturing a child from infancy to adulthood. It entails many responsibilities and tasks, including physical care and emotional support, establishing boundaries and norms, instilling values and morals, and assisting children in developing cognitive, social, and emotional abilities. Parents must also create a safe and supportive environment, provide guidance and independence, and establish a positive relationship with their children. However, some parents take parenting to a different level: Asian parents. Asian parents in the U.S. have a reputation for being strict and demanding with their children. This parenting style is called “Tiger Parenting,” a term that Amy Chua coined.

While tiger parenting may be rooted in good intentions to instill discipline and academic success in children, its strict and authoritarian approach often results in emotional neglect, which can have long-term adverse effects on children’s mental health, including increased levels of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Though my parents were not hardcore tiger parents, they set expectations that overwhelmed my ability to succeed in class. Rather than meeting their expectations, I started to lag behind due to the extensive amount of work. In some cases, severe emotional neglect and stress have caused an increase in suicidal rates, the misuse of drugs, and lower academic performance. As a result, parents must find a balance between having high expectations and addressing their child’s mental health needs.

In the article, “It’s Official, Asian-American Students Work Way Harder to Become More Educated than Everyone Else”, Vincent Fernando, a journalist, indicates that Asian Americans tend to take more Advanced Placement (AP) courses than any other group. Fernando shows how Asians tend to have less access to AP courses, yet they are driven to take more APs. The Higher Education Research Institute (HERI) shows how Asian Americans take more APs than most Americans. “33.8% of Asian American high school student take 5 – 9 AP classes vs. just 15.4% for White-Americans and 18.9% for Hispanic-Americans” (Fernando 1). Asian Americans tend to take it upon themselves to take more rigorous courses compared to others. This could be attributed to tiger parents, as they pressure their children to take difficult classes to achieve a better education. And the fact that they tend to take more classes is not solely attributed to their access to APs because, in actuality, some Asian Americans do not go to schools that provide AP courses. 5.8% of Asians do not have access to APs compared to 3.6% of Hispanics and 5.3% of white people (Fernando 1). Some would correlate the number of AP courses with the accessibility of the course, but Asians tend to have less access than both Hispanics and whites, yet they still take more APs than both groups. While these courses can be beneficial in terms of preparing students for the rigors of college-level work, they can also be mentally straining. Taking ten AP courses can be especially challenging, as it can increase stress levels and negatively impact mental health. A study conducted by Collegeboard found that the average student takes three AP courses throughout high school. Students who take on too many AP courses may struggle to keep up with the workload and experience burnout. This can lead to a sense of anxiety and self-doubt, as well as physical and emotional exhaustion.

In the article, “Children of ‘Tiger’ Style  Parenting May Struggle More” Su Yeong Kim, a student at the University of California at Davis, conducted research on the performance of students who grew up with different parenting styles. She scores the parents based on how many positive and negative characteristics they have. Through her research, she created four categories for parenting: low positive and high negative characteristics are “harsh”, high positive and low negative characteristics are “supportive”, low positive and low negative characteristics are “easygoing,” and high positive and negative characteristics are “tiger parents.” (NPR 1). Children of tiger parents were hypothesized to do better compared to other groups, however, it seemed to be the exact opposite. In their study, high school students “with supportive parents had mean GPAs of 3.4, and kids with Tiger parents had 3.0” (NPR 1). Considering these findings, it can be concluded that tiger parenting does not demonstrate a clear correlation to a child’s success. Instead, parents should consider adopting a more supportive and less authoritative parenting style. In this parenting style, parents focus on developing a warm and deep connection with their children while establishing clear expectations for their behavior and academic achievement. This method is less demanding and more open to reasoning, giving children a sense of responsibility, freedom, and autonomy in making their best decisions. The parenting style also decreases stress and anxiety levels in children and strengthens social skills and self-esteem. Furthermore, parents who use this method frequently have deeper relationships with their children, founded on mutual trust and respect. By prioritizing the well-being and individuality of their children rather than simply focusing on achievement, parents can foster a healthy and positive environment for their children to grow and thrive.

In the essay “Girl”, Jamaica Kincaid, a novelist and writer, explains the expectations set by her mother on how she should act as a girl. She is expected to know certain skills and act a certain way because she is a girl. She has to know how to wash clothes, cook food, and clean the house. She has to dress properly, eat without making a mess, and walk like a lady. In the essay, “Parents fail to acknowledge mental health issues, add to student stress” Lucas Yuan, a journalist, describes how Asian American students struggle with mental health. Their parents set expectations for them to succeed academically, to have mental fortitude, and to be disciplined. “Nobody ever talks about the effects of burnout and anxiety created as a result of these arduous lifestyles. And even when children do bring the subject up, parents often brush it off as ‘lazy’ and their complaints as ‘excuses,’ telling them to toughen up.” (Yuan 1). Tiger parents expect their children to be at the top of their class and to be actively doing work. “Burnout” and “tired” are not part of their vocabulary. Rather than supporting their children, they hold the belief that mental fortitude can help them push through. Both essays show how parents set expectations for their children to become the best versions of themselves. Yet with these expectations comes the responsibility to uphold their hopes. When the kids cannot reach these expectations, their parents demean or label them. “… on Sundays try to walk like a lady and not like the slut you are so bent on becoming… this is how to hem a dress when you see the hem coming down and so to prevent you from looking like the slut I know you are so bent on becoming.” (Kincaid 1). “In the Asian American community, mental health is often seen as taboo, and kids are instructed to suppress their anguish. Crying is labeled as weak and childish and seeking help a weakness.” (Yuan 1). In both scenarios, the parents want their children to be their best selves. But this does not stop parents from demeaning their children for not meeting their expectations. When they do not dress a certain way or do well in school, parents will call them “slut” or “dumb.” Rather than helping a child, this can lead to mental health issues and even resentment. 

Tiger parenting is backed by good intentions and reason, but it can also cause stress and other issues. While children try to uphold their parents’ expectations, it is unlikely that they will maintain them. As a result, parents must find a balance between having high expectations and addressing their child’s mental health needs.