At the start of the year, I struggled to identify reputable sources and correctly cite the works I utilized in my writing. However, by enrolling in lessons on a regular basis and studying diligently, I was able to improve my talents in this area. Gradually, I improved my ability to search online for specific information and trustworthy sources, allowing me to broaden my knowledge base beyond the materials accessible at the Baruch Library.

Moreover, the process of sourcing my materials exposed me to a variety of perspectives from other authors who were conducting research on the same topic. One notable example is Lucas Yuan’s article, which particularly resonated with me. Yuan’s opinion-based argument, shaped by his upbringing in a tiger parenting household, was reinforced by the use of statistical data to bolster his claims. Similarly, Jamaica Kincaid’s thought-provoking essay titled “Girl” shed light on her experiences as a woman growing up, emphasizing how her parents instilled specific expectations and viewpoints in her.

Despite differences in personal experiences, both Yuan’s and Kincaid’s writings had a common topic of parental influence in establishing expectations for their children. By incorporating these varied viewpoints, I was able to make a well-rounded argument in my essay, increasing the depth and breadth of my analysis.

Parenting is raising and nurturing a child from infancy to adulthood. It entails many responsibilities and tasks, including physical care and emotional support, establishing boundaries and norms, instilling values and morals, and assisting children in developing cognitive, social, and emotional abilities. Parents must also create a safe and supportive environment, provide guidance and independence, and establish a positive relationship with their children. However, some parents take parenting to a different level: Asian parents. Asian parents in the U.S. have a reputation for being strict and demanding with their children. This parenting style is called “Tiger Parenting,” a term that Amy Chua coined.

While tiger parenting may be rooted in good intentions to instill discipline and academic success in children, its strict and authoritarian approach often results in emotional neglect, which can have long-term adverse effects on children’s mental health, including increased levels of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Though my parents were not hardcore tiger parents, they set expectations that overwhelmed my ability to succeed in class. Rather than meeting their expectations, I started to lag behind due to the extensive amount of work. In some cases, severe emotional neglect and stress have caused an increase in suicidal rates, the misuse of drugs, and lower academic performance. As a result, parents must find a balance between having high expectations and addressing their child’s mental health needs.

In the article, “It’s Official, Asian-American Students Work Way Harder to Become More Educated than Everyone Else”, Vincent Fernando, a journalist, indicates that Asian Americans tend to take more Advanced Placement (AP) courses than any other group. Fernando shows how Asians tend to have less access to AP courses, yet they are driven to take more APs. The Higher Education Research Institute (HERI) shows how Asian Americans take more APs than most Americans. “33.8% of Asian American high school student take 5 – 9 AP classes vs. just 15.4% for White-Americans and 18.9% for Hispanic-Americans” (Fernando 1). Asian Americans tend to take it upon themselves to take more rigorous courses compared to others. This could be attributed to tiger parents, as they pressure their children to take difficult classes to achieve a better education. And the fact that they tend to take more classes is not solely attributed to their access to APs because, in actuality, some Asian Americans do not go to schools that provide AP courses. 5.8% of Asians do not have access to APs compared to 3.6% of Hispanics and 5.3% of white people (Fernando 1). Some would correlate the number of AP courses with the accessibility of the course, but Asians tend to have less access than both Hispanics and whites, yet they still take more APs than both groups. While these courses can be beneficial in terms of preparing students for the rigors of college-level work, they can also be mentally straining. Taking ten AP courses can be especially challenging, as it can increase stress levels and negatively impact mental health. A study conducted by Collegeboard found that the average student takes three AP courses throughout high school. Students who take on too many AP courses may struggle to keep up with the workload and experience burnout. This can lead to a sense of anxiety and self-doubt, as well as physical and emotional exhaustion.

In the article, “Children of ‘Tiger’ Style  Parenting May Struggle More” Su Yeong Kim, a student at the University of California at Davis, conducted research on the performance of students who grew up with different parenting styles. She scores the parents based on how many positive and negative characteristics they have. Through her research, she created four categories for parenting: low positive and high negative characteristics are “harsh”, high positive and low negative characteristics are “supportive”, low positive and low negative characteristics are “easygoing,” and high positive and negative characteristics are “tiger parents.” (NPR 1). Children of tiger parents were hypothesized to do better compared to other groups, however, it seemed to be the exact opposite. In their study, high school students “with supportive parents had mean GPAs of 3.4, and kids with Tiger parents had 3.0” (NPR 1). Considering these findings, it can be concluded that tiger parenting does not demonstrate a clear correlation to a child’s success. Instead, parents should consider adopting a more supportive and less authoritative parenting style. In this parenting style, parents focus on developing a warm and deep connection with their children while establishing clear expectations for their behavior and academic achievement. This method is less demanding and more open to reasoning, giving children a sense of responsibility, freedom, and autonomy in making their best decisions. The parenting style also decreases stress and anxiety levels in children and strengthens social skills and self-esteem. Furthermore, parents who use this method frequently have deeper relationships with their children, founded on mutual trust and respect. By prioritizing the well-being and individuality of their children rather than simply focusing on achievement, parents can foster a healthy and positive environment for their children to grow and thrive.

In the essay “Girl”, Jamaica Kincaid, a novelist and writer, explains the expectations set by her mother on how she should act as a girl. She is expected to know certain skills and act a certain way because she is a girl. She has to know how to wash clothes, cook food, and clean the house. She has to dress properly, eat without making a mess, and walk like a lady. In the essay, “Parents fail to acknowledge mental health issues, add to student stress” Lucas Yuan, a journalist, describes how Asian American students struggle with mental health. Their parents set expectations for them to succeed academically, to have mental fortitude, and to be disciplined. “Nobody ever talks about the effects of burnout and anxiety created as a result of these arduous lifestyles. And even when children do bring the subject up, parents often brush it off as ‘lazy’ and their complaints as ‘excuses,’ telling them to toughen up.” (Yuan 1). Tiger parents expect their children to be at the top of their class and to be actively doing work. “Burnout” and “tired” are not part of their vocabulary. Rather than supporting their children, they hold the belief that mental fortitude can help them push through. Both essays show how parents set expectations for their children to become the best versions of themselves. Yet with these expectations comes the responsibility to uphold their hopes. When the kids cannot reach these expectations, their parents demean or label them. “… on Sundays try to walk like a lady and not like the slut you are so bent on becoming… this is how to hem a dress when you see the hem coming down and so to prevent you from looking like the slut I know you are so bent on becoming.” (Kincaid 1). “In the Asian American community, mental health is often seen as taboo, and kids are instructed to suppress their anguish. Crying is labeled as weak and childish and seeking help a weakness.” (Yuan 1). In both scenarios, the parents want their children to be their best selves. But this does not stop parents from demeaning their children for not meeting their expectations. When they do not dress a certain way or do well in school, parents will call them “slut” or “dumb.” Rather than helping a child, this can lead to mental health issues and even resentment. 

Tiger parenting is backed by good intentions and reason, but it can also cause stress and other issues. While children try to uphold their parents’ expectations, it is unlikely that they will maintain them. As a result, parents must find a balance between having high expectations and addressing their child’s mental health needs.

With the language barrier that comes from learning English as a second language, many immigrants have contrasting views between English and their native tongue. However, in her essay “Mother Tongue,” Amy Tan presents an alternate language that resides somewhere in the liminal space between immigrants’ native language and English; although commonly referred to as “limited” or “broken” English, Tan demonstrates in her essay that there is nothing about this alternate English that is insufficient or requires fixing. By juxtaposing vivid anecdotes with linguistic details, Tan creates tangible examples that effectively convey the significant role both Englishes play in her life to a variety of audiences.

From the beginning of her essay, Tan establishes “broken” English as a different form of English, not a lesser substitute. By using specific wording, referring to both languages collectively as “Englishes,” Tan portrays the two as inherently distinct and not variations of each other. She also expresses her disdain for people referring to the alternate English Tan’s mother uses as “limited,” since it is not a reflection of her mother’s intelligence. Using lists as a rhetorical device, Tan lists the variety of writings her mother fluently understands in quick succession: the Forbes reports, Wall Street Week, and Shirley MacLaine’s books. By using literal examples of writing that are considered more academically difficult, Tan is able to provide a physical reference for her audiences of how, while her mother’s speaking skills may seem insufficient to native speakers, the alternate English is just as valid since it does not limit her mother’s intellectual understanding of English.

However, Tan didn’t always view her mother’s alternate English with the understanding she currently does. By using the rhetorical device syllepsis: “When I was growing up, my mother’s ‘limited’ English limited my perception of her,” Tan effectively connects how society’s negative view of her mother’s English affected her personal view since Tan began to feel ashamed that her mother didn’t adhere to the standard, “proper” English native speakers did. Tan expresses her frustration as a child through a series of detailed anecdotes of her calling people in English for her mother. Within her anecdotes, Tan contrasts action with significance so that her audience, which may include native speakers, can understand the heightened emotions she felt at the time. When explaining her experience calling the New York stockbroker, Tan used vivid imagery to portray the embarrassment she felt as her mother yelled at the stockbroker: “I was sitting there red-faced and quiet, and my mother, the real Mrs. Tan, was shouting at his boss in her impeccable broken English.” By using a story from her life, Tan perfectly exemplifies the impact her mother’s English had on her as she grew up. The shame Tan felt reflects and results from how society looks down on those immigrant parents and their English.

Besides her emotional response to her mother’s English, Tan stressed that there were also very real consequences due to the way American society viewed “broken English.” When Tan’s mother called the hospital for her CAT scan, the hospital was not sympathetic or apologetic at all, even though Tan’s mother had informed them of the seriousness of the situation and “said she had spoken very good English, her best English, no mistakes.” However, when Tan called the hospital using her English, the hospital took immediate action to find the scan. Tan interjected the story with her current realizations of how horrible it was for her mother to be treated that way, which provides further empathy since the audience can experience firsthand the racism people face when their language isn’t taken seriously,especially for native speakers of English who haven’t experienced it. 

The anecdotes Tan chose are very relatable to the children of immigrants since they often have to translate for their parents and have to shoulder that responsibility from a young age, especially since the children often have to translate “adult” documents like tax forms and citizenship documents. Another literary device Tan uses is introducing data and then stating her opinion on it from her personal experience: “Sociologists and linguists probably will tell you that a person’s developing language skills are more influenced by peers. But I do think that the language spoken in the family, especially in immigrant families that are more insular, plays a large role in shaping the language of the child.” By presenting the commonly accepted view and then stating her own opinion, Tan places her situation into perspective for a larger audience.

Tan later realizes that to appeal to different audiences in some aspects of her life, she has to use different languages. When describing her own life, which included her mother’s impact as she grew up, Tan slowly realized that she had subconsciously changed her speech around her mother. Instead of speaking the proper English that she studied in college, she decides to use broken English. She says, “not waste money that way.” The English she uses with her mother has transcended language to become her comfort language that she uses with the people she loves when she becomes comfortable, which she calls the language of intimacy.

The fact that Tan’s mother said that her book was “So easy to read” mattered more to Tan than any critic’s review because it showed she was able to connect with her mother. This essay, which is about the nuances of different languages, is written in the scholarly language Tan notices herself using, yet she still appreciates the broken English she grew up with and expresses the impacts of both on her life.

As an Asian American, I imagined America as an ideal country where different cultures, arts, and languages would be welcomed. My hopes for this wonderful place were swiftly put to rest as I faced racism for the first time in my life. 

My parents are Chinese immigrants who came here to take advantage of the numerous new opportunities. I was born and, for most of my childhood, raised in America, so I was constantly exposed to American culture, but my parents still wanted me to learn about their culture and customs. Speaking Chinese was mandatory in my day-to-day life because I had to speak to my parents in their native language. But it wasn’t until I entered high school that I learned about the harsh realities of my language.

During my high school years, I walked down the hall with a classmate who had recently arrived to America, speaking Chinese. Whenever conflicts broke out, I would hear people murmur “ching-chong willy wong” to their peers or even yell “leave, you chinks.” The one that stood out to me was when other students confronted me about speaking my native language in the halls. “You’re in America so speak English.” There are many words in other languages that sound like English words, and Chinese is no exception. The words “nèigé” and “nàgè” are readily used in everyday conversation for Chinese speakers. It means “the one” and “that”; we use them a lot as filler words when we can’t think, like “umm” for instance. When speaking Chinese around English speakers, words can often be misinterpreted, especially the word “nèigé”. 

I was leaving my Chinese class one day when I said, “Ni kàn nèigé.” When an African American student mistook it as the n-word, but it meant “look at that.” He started to lash out at me, saying how I couldn’t say n-word because I’m not black and that I should “go back to my country.” I understood what he was suggesting, but I was confused about how my speaking mother tongue was offending him. I told him that I was speaking Chinese and that “neigè” is not the n-word. Unfortunately, the conflict got worst when a dean was brought over; I didn’t understand why he needed to be involved. Because the dean understood my argument, I was let go with no consequences. Despite the fact that I did not get in any trouble, I felt frustrated, as if I couldn’t express my own culture and identity. This phrase has been said countless times in the Chinese community, yet those who believe they are promoting racial equality are gravely mistaken. It’s strange that America is known for its freedom of expression and speech, but some people don’t live up to the values upon which this country was founded. I was born and raised in a country with freedom of speech, yet I could not express myself in my own native language.

My language is my culture, background, and identity. I should feel free to express myself and not have it defined as something offensive. I understand what the misunderstandings are, but it is also my self-identity. In the Chinese community, we all understand that speaking our language could be problematic. I hear many stories from friends, family, and the media about this issue, and I find it embarrassing to even be Chinese. I even have a few friends who are afraid to speak Chinese in front of others. America is a place where people are free to be themselves, however, it saddens me to know that there will be people judging me for who I am and my history. People need to be more educated about other cultures and languages and acknowledge the differences between them. It is hard for people to accept the unknown, which is why education in these fields is necessary and important. We are too quick to judge others these days, and it can be really beneficial to take a step back before wrongly accusing someone. The recent attacks on Asian communities in America because of COVID-19 further feed into the hateful and vengeful state this nation is currently in. I hope that one day we will be able to set aside our differences and grow in this world together.